Journal#12 Mounds
- Feedback/reflections on A Body in Fukushima part 3,4,5
Again, I hesitated to say this, but I first appreciated the distance that I have with the Daiichi. The pictures are disturbing and fearful, especially when I saw the gigantic sea shoreline protection with myriads of tetrapods, the Daiichi from Ukedo beach, and empty fields… I needed a break from time to time to process those images and accept them as a reality in Fukushima right now. When I saw the house in Yabure town had disappeared and the photo that Eiko was sitting next to the flower bushes, which is the only proof that there was that house, I could not contain my anger and sadness to what the Daiichi had brought about and the reality that people’s normal life would never go back because of radiation. It was disheartening to know that some farmers committed suicide and I immediately remembered the story of Hayashi’s Harvest and I hope the sweet potato farmer in the story is surviving… lastly when I saw the old mound in the community, which stands in the empty field of the irradiated land, abandoned and not taken care of after the earthquake hit. I was thinking of a Chinese character of the old mound, which is 古墳, and in my head, the character of 墳 turned into 憤, which means indignation. (the left side of墳 means soil and the left side of憤 means heart.) I felt indignation of people who were forced to leave their hometown, the dead buried here and abandoned, and indignation of myself toward the Daiichi incident that destroyed the community, where the old mound tells that there had been the long history and lives of the native people existed far before the Daiichi and nuclear plants came into this land.
Class reflection:
At the beginning of class, we talked about music and non-music. First, we listen to Angela Davis’s talk introducing Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit." Angela Davis introduced the social impact of "Strange Fruit" and how "Strange Fruit" rejuvenated the tradition of protest, a social movement of African Americans, and radical social consciousness. Eiko told us that she has not used music for her teaching materials and rarely for her works. But in the last classes, we made movements to music, starting from Nina Simone, Atomic Café’s music lists, and today for “Strange fruits.” “Strange Fruits” by Billie Holiday is not a song that you can “enjoy” listening to and making movements to. It is a painful but realistic song. This song carries a lot of anger and sadness. So, when I was doing movement with “Strange Fruits,” I felt my skin trembling with sadness and anger. Though it is about a song of segregation and violence in the South, “Strange Fruits” connects to the history and crimes of segregation and mass violence. And my blood and body contain the history and crimes of segregation and mass violence as a Japanese, such as the colonization of Korea and Taiwan or militaristic aggression to China, South Asia, and Pacific islands. It is tough and a little suffering to make movement with those thoughts but I also think that it is necessary and I am sure Billie Holiday’s song helped me that process through this movement of being and remembering “Strange Fruits.”
It was also a week of presentation for my final project as well. Though my project was not done yet (or it just started), I wanted to present my project’s process to promise to myself and classmates that I finish my project and share it with them. I was a little nervous though it is virtual and I was speaking to the screen in practice, and I felt the audience's eyes in the space of the classroom and I think that is why I felt nervous. I am glad that I had wonderful classmates as the audience. I could pour time and effort into my project as I recognize that my project can bring some aha (or whmm) to my classmates and their food for thoughts…! Also, everyone’s presentations and projects were educational and generous and learning opportunities for me. Juliette’s presentation started even before class and she sent out her mom’s obituary to class. Sam’s project is friendly and personal and yet Sam shared movement with us to connect everyone to a dark and difficult topic of addiction and dependence. Alma used the sounds in her childhood to create her final project and I think it was attractive to the audience to use media other than writing and speaking. Will and Annie’s collaboration work and their presentation were also great integration with sounds and their visual work. And Zita’s podcast presentation is also strong. Sharing her first work with her mom’s voice about death, Zita presented the intention of her work and the topic of authentication, which she has been grappling with in class and her podcast work.
Reflections on Reading journals:
First, I realize in my journals that I like describing my movement in class and for assignments. I think that writing and movement have been my favorite and comfortable way of participating in this class. Over the course, we have been focusing on a lot of tools that are necessary and important to be an artist, presenter, protester, an audience possibly. While reading my journal, I remembered and I was glad that I got a chance to hone my speaking skills in a week of the Op-Ed and speech week. So, I thought that the past journals made me realize my growth and also my fortes: it was definitely one of self-curation in this class. I was glad to see that we all have grown as a learning community! In everyone’s journal, everyone quotes and reflects their ideas and those ideas bounced back to other people. These amplified effects of collective learning are salient in the collective archive. I remembered that Gita was citing an excerpt from everyone’s journal. When I was looking at it, I remembered that my happiness and joy of sharing my emotions and thoughts in journals and class. And I think that Gita’s efforts brought a positive influence to the class in terms of collective learning. Ella also talked about my video and how my fish video came out in her dream. And I was glad that my learning process also gave learning opportunities and seeds for thought for Ella, but it also reminded me of how I learned in this class and class’s content influencing my life and way of living. When Sam shared with me that she was thinking about Nina Simone’s “Sinnerman” when she was doing no-no dance and introduced me to the song. I have been listening to Nina Simone’s songs and Nina Simone and her songs became one of our learning materials in class. I found that this way of learning from each other and sharing our history, feelings, and thoughts (from movements to readings, news, and politics) was a great way of cultivating myself and also (learning how-to of) growing as a learning community. And it was the biggest aha moments for me.
The whmmm moment for me was loneliness. Some of my journals expressed fear and sadness in facing the brutal and heinous history and reality of this world. It was a little difficult in time of isolation by corona and the virtual classroom to not feel lonely when I was dealing with class materials. As Gabrielle was addressing in her final project, it was a big challenge for us to find a way to connect in this virtual setting with physical distance and barrier in learning – and I believe that we all did great jobs…! Journals became our key and integral ways to communicate and we all strive to learn more so that we can make up for the unavoidable physical distance that we all have. But sometimes, partly because we grapple with violence and history in class, which indeed are the direst things to be remembered and be fixed in this world, I was feeling lonely when I was facing those writings and visuals like I guess it was close to the feelings that Hara was writing. But I also saw hope – when we watched together “Atomic Café” together as a class, it was a more encouraging and safer environment rather than if we watched it separately. And I believe there are more ways than we can feel connected and bonded beyond physical distance through this experience.
